🎇 Is Your Doctor Dismissing You? How to Recognize and Stop Medical Gaslighting

In an earlier post, I wrote about the one question to ask your doctor that can change your healthcare experience. But what if you don't feel heard, or you're symptoms are constantly being dismissed? What if engaging with the healthcare system makes you feel like you're continually going to battle? What if you're left emotionally drained, resigned, and disconnected? 

For too many women, especially women of color, medical visits are just this. They become frustrating, even humiliating experiences. You come looking for help, but instead leave feeling belittled, unheard, or doubted. If you can relate to any of these scenarios, you may be experiencing medical gaslighting.

🤔 What Is Medical Gaslighting?

The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1940s movie where a man manipulates his wife into thinking she's going crazy by denying her reality.

In healthcare, medical gaslighting happens when a healthcare professional dismisses, downplays, or questions a patient's symptoms, making them doubt their own experiences or sanity. And it's far more common than you might think!

⚠️ How to Recognize Medical Gaslighting

Here are some warning signs you might be experiencing medical gaslighting:

• Your provider interrupts or talks over you repeatedly.

• They roll their eyes or seem annoyed when you describe symptoms.

• They blame anxiety or depression, or menopause, without any proper evaluation.

• They won't order tests you reasonably request.

• They tell you "it's normal," even though you know something just doesn't feel right.

• They imply you're being melodramatic.

• They refuse to refer you to a specialist when symptoms persist.

If you feel confused after every appointment, or you start to second-guess your own body, that's a red flag.🚩

👩🏽‍⚕️ Why Women — Especially Minority Women — Are Most Affected

Studies consistently show women are more likely to receive a diagnosis significantly later than men. This happens even more often to Black women, Latinas, and other women of color, who face multiple layers of bias. Research has found that women wait longer in emergency rooms than men, and that Black women's pain is often discounted due to harmful stereotypes, and that women reporting chronic pain or fatigue are more likely to be labeled "psychosomatic". 

Many women learn to silence their own health needs, which is sad. This must change.

🧭 Why Medical Gaslighting Can Be Damaging

Medical gaslighting goes beyond being simply rude or dismissive. It's harmful because it:

• Delayed diagnosis: You might go months or years without answers.

• Erodes trust: you feel afraid to seek medical care in the future.

• Impacts mental health: chronic doubt and stress can worsen anxiety and depression.

• Fuels health inequities: especially for Black and Brown women, whose health outcomes are already worse.

An opinion piece published earlier this year revealed that women with autoimmune diseases waited years longer for diagnosis than men, partly because their symptoms were routinely dismissed as "stress."

🛡️ How to Protect Yourself

Speaking up can feel intimidating, but you are not helpless. 

1️⃣   Please Trust Your Body

No one knows your body like you do. I often speak to women about that 'inner knowingness' we are all equipped with, called our intuition. Lean into this at all times. If you feel something is wrong, trust your intuition, even if a doctor disagrees with you.

2️⃣  Prepare for Appointments

• Write down your symptoms

• Keep a journal of frequency, severity, and patterns

• Bring a list of questions

• Prioritize what you want answered

3️⃣  Ask for Explanations

If a provider says "it's normal" or "it's stress," ask:

• "Can you explain why you think that?"

• "What else could cause these symptoms?"

• "Is there a test we can do to rule out other conditions?"

4️⃣ Request Documentation

In today's digital era, you can easily access the visit summary through the patient portal. Be sure to review this after every visit to ensure that the information contained is accurate and is what you relayed to your provider. This helps you track patterns over time. 

5️⃣  Bring Someone along to your visit to advocate for you

Whether it's a friend, family member, or a professional health advocate like me, having another set of ears can help you feel supported and document what is said.

6️⃣ Seek a Second Opinion

If you feel repeatedly dismissed and disrespected, please consider changing providers. You deserve a clinician who listens and takes you seriously. 

🗣️ How to Speak Up

You can be assertive while still being respectful. Here are some phrases you can use:

⭐️ "I hear what you're saying, but I'm still concerned. Can we explore other causes?"

⭐️ "I don't feel my concerns are being fully addressed."

⭐️ "I would like a second opinion."

⭐️ A compelling phrase to use is: "Can you document in my chart that I requested more evaluation, and that you declined?" Requesting Documentation may prompt a provider to reconsider dismissing you.

🌍 The Bigger Picture: A System That Must Change

The burden should not fall solely on a patient's need to change their perceived experiences with healthcare. Medical gaslighting erodes the very trust patients need to engage fully with their providers. There are several reasons why gaslighting can occur, including bias, stereotypes, or a doctor's rush to judgment and reliance on shortcuts rather than careful thinking.

Many women, especially women of color, experience medical gaslighting because of unfair beliefs about pain or emotions, or because medical training and research have often ignored their needs.

When doctors think they know best and do not include patients in decision-making, it creates an unfair power imbalance that can leave patients feeling dismissed or delayed in receiving proper care. Understanding these reasons can help you recognize gaslighting, speak up, and safeguard your well-being.

✅ Action Steps for This Week

• Think about any past experiences where you felt dismissed — what would you do differently now?

• Create a list of your top three health concerns and schedule an appointment to discuss them with your healthcare provider.

• Consider hiring an independent health advocate to help you decipher your care.

• Follow this blog for more tips.

🏁 Final Thoughts

Medical gaslighting is not just a buzzword; it's a serious issue. It erodes trust, worsens health outcomes, and disproportionately harms women, especially Black women, Latinas, and other women of color. By learning to spot it, name it, speak out, and advocate for yourself, you can reclaim your health power without shame.

Your health belongs to you. Let's protect it. Let's honor it. Let's celebrate your independence today and every day. 🇺🇸