๐๏ธ The Appointment You Keep Moving to the Bottom of the List
Aug 21, 2026
A woman I'll call Deidre once sat across from me in an executive health physical. She appeared in a hurry and clearly did not want to be there. She informed me rather curtly that she had several meetings scheduled at her office- which fortunately was a short walk- in less than an hour. The only reason she had shown up is because she is a partner with one of the "Big Four" accounting and professional services and so this physical was tied to a performance bonus.
She was in her fifties. It had been two years since her last mammogram, five years since her last PAP smear, and she had never had a colonoscopy. When I pointed out that attempts had been made to contact her for additional imaging required on her mammogram, she started listing the reasons. She'd been traveling a lot for work. Her kids played in after school leagues. Her parents had required extra care due to health issues. She shared excitedly that things had finally settled down to the point where she was taking her immediate family and her parents on a much deserved trip to Australia at the end of the month. But she had several deadlines to meet before she departed on that trip and there was no way she was going to add any of the screenings I was recommending for her. Besides she informed me smugly, she did not have a family history of cancer.
"Neither do I", I heard myself saying in my mind as I calmly bit my tongue to make sure i did not say it out loud. ๐จ
I could have taken offense at her demeanor and dismissive attitude, but Deidre is not alone in her thinking. She is a busy overstretched, high performing professional woman. And I saw her for who she is. I also saw a part of myself in her, as I had also been tempted to delay those screenings. So if any part of this feels eerily familiar, I want you to know something right away: there is nothing wrong with you. I am not here to judge. I am here to reframe the picture.
๐๏ธ The gap nobody talks about
Here is what the research shows. In one large survey, about nine in ten people had skipped or delayed preventive screenings.
Sit with that gap for a moment, because it tells you something important. The problem was never that individuals don't know. You know. The knowing was never the missing piece.
And this gap actually widens with age. About one in four women between 50 and 74 is not up to date on her mammogram right now. One in four! And what is the current statistics for lifetime risk of breast cancer? One in eight. These are very likely women who can recite everyone else's due dates for screenings and any other important life event from memory.
I don't share these numbers to worry you. I share them so you can see that this is bigger than any one busy season. More importantly, this it is not a story about women who don't care about their health.
๐ It's not you — it's the pattern
So if it is not a knowledge problem, what is it? Yes there are multiple reasons why this may be the case for some, affordability, access to care, and more play a role. But for the woman like Deidre who has access to care, can pay for her screenings, has a primary care physician and access to executive health physicals, could this be a learned pattern? A lifetime of being the one who holds everyone together. The coordinator. The safety net. The person who makes sure nobody else falls through the cracks.
If you are a high achieving professional woman, it's likely that several people depend on you- at work and at home. And what happens is that your own needs slide quietly to the bottom of that to-do list. This my sister-friend is not a character flaw.
Let me say something women especially those in the over 50 generation (yes you Gen X'ers and Boomers ๐) rarely hear out loud: putting yourself last is not humility. It is a habit the world trained into you. The good news is that habits can be un-trained.
๐ฉบ What I know from both sides of the exam table
I don't say any of this from a distance. I have been the physician, and I am also a three-time cancer survivor. The two occasions that I was tempted to reschedule my own screening due to a very busy work schedule, are the two times I was diagnosed with cancer. If I had waited 6 months, I probably would not be alive to be writing this blog post or creating this amazing platform around advocacy and survivorship.
I will tell you this honestly: the appointment you are tempted to skip may be the one that gives you options you would otherwise never have. Early is not a guarantee. Early is a gift you get to give yourself.
โ Your one small step this week
Here is the one thing I want you to do this week. Not ten things. One.
Pick a single screening you have been putting off — the mammogram, the colonoscopy, the skin check, the bloodwork, whatever has been living on your "someday" list. Make a phone call and book it. Then put it on the calendar the way you would book it for your daughter, your spouse or your parent. No negotiating. No "after things settle down." Things never fully settle down, and you know that better than anyone.
And if you honestly are not sure what you are due for, that is okay — your step is even simpler:
- Call your primary care physician's office and ask: "What screenings am I actually due for right now?"
- Write the answer down so it doesn't live only in your memory, where the next busy week can erase it.
- If possible, schedule the first thing on your list as soon as you hang up the phone. If not make a commitment to schedule it by the end of the day.
- And if your primary care physician's office requests that you come in for an annual physical examination first, please schedule that right away!
Being your own advocate does not mean knowing everything. It means gaining CLARITY by asking the questions and then following through.
๐ The bolder second half
Life after fifty gets talked about by some women like it is a time to slow down. To become resigned to every ache and pain as they manage what they feel is inevitable declining health.
But I don't see it that way, and I don't think you should either. After fifty is the season to live boldly. And living boldly includes making sure you are fully present, and well enough, for all of what life brings.
Christiane Northrup, MD writes in her book “The Wisdom of Menopause”:
“As a woman in midlife today, I am part of a growing population that is an unprecedented 48.5 million strong in the United States alone. This group is no longer invisible and silent, but a force to be reckoned with- educated, vocal, sophisticated in our knowledge of medical science, and determined to take control of our own health….. more than 48 million women, all undergoing the same sort of circuitry update at the same time. By virtue of our sheer numbers, as well as our social and economic influence, we are powerful- and potentially dangerous to any institution built upon the status quo.”
So let's make a radical decision — to treat our lives like it matters as much as everyone else's. You have spent years making sure the people you love don't fall through the cracks. This week, catch yourself the same way.
Listen, you are not behind. You are not careless. You are a woman who has been carrying a great deal — and you deserve a place on your own calendar. ๐
If this resonated with you, share it with the woman who came to mind while you were reading it. She may need to hear it as much as you did. ๐
And if you feel like you need help navigating your own health with more clarity and less overwhelm, I offer a FREE discovery call. No pressure and no pitch — just a conversation to see if we're a good fit to work together.
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